Friday, October 26, 2007

Goose

I wanted to write something here about my husband. He is my best friend. I am reminded of that Sarah McLaughlin song "Thank You." There is so much to thank you for, Goose. You are the part of me that I strive to be, the part that I despise in myself, and the part that makes me laugh and see this life with wonder. A companion on the journey of life. Although the process I am going through would be necessary whether we were together or not, I feel privileged to go through it with you by my side. Although our journeys are not identical, I cannot help but feel a kind of giddy joy when we just happen to bump into each other along the way. I also want to say that I think that we probably could have this connection whether we were married or not. But, we are married so it makes the whole process at least a slight bit more certain. I think about our life today, and I can't help but smile on the inside. It is a sort of inside contentness. Not that I ever want to be truly satisfied with anything, but I know that this journey is more interesting and a lot more fun and less lonely when you are here with me.


Sometimes I feel my connection to the outside world slipping away from me so fast. I feel that I might be losing everything in common with people because of how I think now. But, for some strange reason you are here still. You are with me even though you may not agree with me. You haven't left me here alone. And then it gets me thinking about why you would be here still. And you are right. You have often said it. If you didn't want to be here, you wouldn't, and now I can understand that. It is like when you touch me or kiss me. It is more intoxicating to think about what you are doing to me and why! Yes, the actual feelings and sensations on my skin are nice, but knowing the purpose and desire behind those actions means so much more.

Life is good!

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