Questioning?

Originally posted on June 25, 2006.
Have you ever had an intense longing for something but you were unsure what would quench that desire? I have felt dissatisfied with life. Don't get me wrong; I have a great life that I love and would not change for anything. As my previous post discussed, I have a great husband and yes we sometimes disagree. A lot of it probably has to do with the unspeakable desire within me. I get frustrated easily. We live in a great little house. I am currently fixing up the kitchen - painting cabinets, changing fixtures, etc. It is going to look great. We also have the best puppy anyone could ask for. Boo, pictured below, brings a lot of joy and happiness to our lives. I am finishing up my degree in elementary education. Everything is going great for me, yet I have a longing, or would you, a curiousity. I have never been the kind of person who goes along with the crowd. Thanks to my inquisitive dad, I have always been a questioner and skeptic. I tend to see the world with a cynical and pessimistic eye. I have always thought that there had to be more to life. Even though I am a practicing and very active Christian, my spiritual life has taken me down a path I had not expected. The faith that I grew up in and believed to be the basis for life, all of sudden seems to be crumbling around my feet. My eyes have been opened to the superstitions and practices of the church. These rituals bog us down doing things instead of bringing us closer to our creator. Every revealed religion has been created by the hands of man. How can we presume to contain God in our own little box of rituals and conformities? These questions and many more have been weighing on my mind heavily as of late.